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motzahbalbrains

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[18 May 2004|04:31pm]


oops...
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leave a wet one on my door step and i'll lend you some matches [13 May 2004|03:31pm]
i learned how planes stall today, if they climb too fast the engines eventually shut down and you end up falling, i guess i was just climbing too fast, if you can pull out of a stall your plane usually ends up crusing pretty well, going fast and shit i guess, unless you go and try to do it again, but you gotta figure the extra speed would let you climb higher before you stalled... i think i'm getting over my phone phobia, fear of social interaction, i'm talking to old friends, kids i've forgotten how much i cared about, and i'm making new ones because of it.

kaysie bergens, sorry i missed your funeral, i'm guessing some sort of communications impossible, but it figures

my friend showed me his handgun the other day, and i thought of rose lines, i should hang out with her again someday

i kissed her on the couch, or did she kiss me?
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[01 May 2004|05:27pm]
i want to be bohemian
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[27 Apr 2004|07:01pm]
what ever happend to you, kaysie bergens?
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been a while [26 Apr 2004|06:25pm]
[ mood | good ]

moms out of town friday

so are my sisters
so i got the house to myself...

do i smell a party?

3 comments|post comment

skeet skeet [21 Mar 2004|01:55pm]
[ mood | happy ]

saturday night movie at kailey's house, had tons of fun

really, really, want to see more of her

anyone wants to hang out let me know

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[15 Mar 2004|08:16pm]
i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you,i love you, don't let this end tonight </3
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165.75 miles. 2 hours, 59 minutes. [15 Mar 2004|04:54pm]
anyone want to road trip to Naples?
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pog me hoin [14 Mar 2004|03:13am]


yea baby... good times at the irish american fest, trade in your pants at the door for a kilt, all you could eat shepards pie, and noone was sober
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Memoirs: a day in the life off [11 Mar 2004|08:50pm]
writing a short story for english. extra credit. took the cliche jaded teenager angle, it's easy and everyone relates to it. here's a two paragraph sampler to get your toungue all juicy.

The morning was stale, and josh knew it would end up molded and disgusting if this dew wasn’t taken care of soon enough. Despite the cold he wore sandal, cursing the wet grass as it brushed along his feet. He’d worn the same pants since Monday, and it was now Thursday. It was a failing attempt to be part of a superficial scene that made him sick. But, like the wet grass he could’ve easily avoided it. No. josh was lazy. It was quicker to cut across the dew kissed lawns, it was easier to associate himself to a group, even if in the end he’d be just as superficial as they were. It took time to find out who you are, and why spend all that time when you could just wallow in self pity? It seemed more glamorous that way. And besides, he was 16 hormones raging the only thing that seemed truly important was his next blow job. Girls were always looking for love and he just wanted sex. “You don’t find love at 16, and you sure as hell don’t find yourself.” It was his creed. Always rolling in that self pity. Glamour kills. End of story.

He turned the street, his blue eyes sent judgmental glances to the freshman shivering in the cold at the bus stop. He hated them, with no justifiable cause other than the fact he thought they were innocent and innocence made him sick. They weren’t going through his hell, his constant struggle to just be another piece of the jig saw puzzle. Fuck them, brush it off, walk away. He took a seat on the chilled pavement, behind him two freshman girls lit up a cigarette. They huddle close holding the menthol between the two of them, fingers trembling, they took turns each taking a drag, then hesitating. They never inhaled, but they didn’t stop smoking. It’s just an image. Innocence always tried to killed itself, but it was never strong enough to just pull the trigger. Let corruption do all the dirty work.


i'll probably change the names, add a plot, and maybe a couple conflicts. by the end of next week it'll be an epic. i should land a book signing by this time next year. watch out
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it's cute being a 16 year old loser [10 Mar 2004|08:49pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

i've spent time at looking at other peoples journals. i always read over them and think about posting, but i never do. i guess you could say it's some sort of weird test for me. some bizare micro-cosem of my every day life. i see it happen to me at school. sitting in on other peoples conversations, and wishing that i was a part of them. not that i want them to be talking about me. i just want to have the courage to be able to talk to them, i want some real friends at school. school brings me down like nothing else. i can stand just staying at home on the weekends. you get used to spending time with yourself. but at school everything just sorta turns to shit. i guess i just want to be popular, or have something to do on the weekends. i feel pity for myself for not being able to pull myself out of this rut. it's been over a year now. i want to blame it on my parents but i know it's not that. it's me, i guess there's some latent underground fear that if i get attatched i'll just lose that attachment. well you know what i say to that? fuck. seriously, if i don't have the guts to ask someone for a ride to a show, or what they're doing on a friday night i'm just a fag. i end up sitting at home alone, not even able to post on an lj

fuck being a teenager

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does anyone hear my siren song? [22 Feb 2004|06:48pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

well weeks gone by fun times, school could be a little better but i'm not gonna complain. didn't do much this weekend. friday just hung out with some friends and saturday i had two shows. they went pretty well.
i'm interested in this one girl, i haven't talked to her in a while but we've started to again.
you feel anything friday night? i dunno, kiss is a kiss i guess. i need to start doing better in school, i didnt realize how close i'm getting to college
lifes a bitch

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black ones always the first to die [16 Feb 2004|02:16am]
[ mood | awake ]

shiit crazy weekend, don't think i've ever been more scared of anything ever in my life. cool kids got to haunted houses and then shit a brick because they scared ghostxcore for life

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love song [13 Feb 2004|03:14pm]
desperatly in search for a ride to rays, if anyone's near the heights give me a ride
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no matter what they say, love is never enough [12 Feb 2004|06:41pm]
[ mood | content ]

so our school put everyones name on a little heart, then put alllll of those little hearts up on a wall. appearently if you take someones heart down that means you have a "secret" crush on them, or something like that. well today i was informed in 6th hour my name was taken off the wall

hooray i thought hoping it was a certain someone i had semi romantic feelings towards

but surprise surprise it was a some guy, yea thats right, a guy

so now my secret crush is a man

and i'm still not making out with a girl saturday

today was still sorta fun tho

7 comments|post comment

[11 Feb 2004|06:26am]
smakin da bitches, pimpin da hoes
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ran over by an ambulence [10 Feb 2004|04:30pm]
[ mood | blank ]

it feels good to let it all out, i don't really have to worry much about readers, or at least posters, not getting many of those

school was alright

fcat very gay

still in the market for something to do on the weekends and someone to do it with

heather paris is my valentine <33333

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that josh davis is so gay... [09 Feb 2004|07:59pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

my god it's been years since i've updated, i dont ususaly have much to say in these things so they tend to be boring, unentertaining, whatever works.

lately schools being dragging into a meaningless bore. i sleep through most of it and the stuff i'm awake for i wish i wasn't. my social life is shit, i have major trouble keeping and even making friends, i usually just sit and never say a thing at lunch i'm afraid that if i do i'll sound like an idiot and people will just look down on me even more than they do now.

valentines day's saturday. everyone's excited about it, i just want to puke. i got no valentine man so i think i'll see what vodkas doing and hang out with her

need any homework from mr mazzota's algebra 2 class

need something to do on the weekends that isn't hanging out with my mom

i need a shrink to give me prozac so the moodswings stop...

i need to do something this weekend, maybe a show or just acting like a teenager, but i need to grow some balls, get over the social anxiety disorder, and ask someone too

i wish i were cool, someday...

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[28 Jan 2004|09:57pm]
my best friend grew up and i didn't

and now i really don't have anyone
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[23 Jan 2004|06:59pm]
i dunno, but i had alot of fun at the movies, and bakesale, do you think we'll ever do that again?
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